Tuesday 11 April 2006

How To Get A Mate

1. Make sure you don't really have time for one
2. Have enough money to spend on one, but have plans to spend it in other ways
3. Never be alone at any time
4. Focus on the negative aspect of the opposite sex, but don't mean it deep down
5. Give the impression that you could have anyone you want, but that you don't want anyone
6. Tell everyone that you're "not looking"
7. Assume that every person looking at the Internet (at any time) is fat
8. Project all of the above (a disinterested, busy, affluent, surrounded by people, vaguely disrespectful of the opposite sex air)

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